Crying now

2003-01-01T15:12:00.000Z

I went to Bexleyheath to buy the Kingdom Hearts guide, because I need to know everything. Yeah, me, a Squaresoft-obsessed fan. Turns out that no one had a copy of it, which just sucks. As a last resort, I walk into HMV knowing full well that they don't stock those kind of things. So I walk in, and there are about 200 people crammed into this store, perusing the shelves for DVDs and Videos. They knocked up to 70% of the price, which is pretty high. I look to my left, and what do I see? AKIRA! For 9.99 quid down from 19.99. Seeing as I won't be getting the Guide this month it seems, I decided to buy it.

I txt D to tell her the news (she's Bishie Hunter #2) and we decide she should come over and stay the night. She'd been due to wathc the ending of FFX and the cuteness of Sora and co. of KH. I've got her hooked onto the PS2 now! Wahey!!

So we were watching Akira. At the beginning we were wondering what the hell this was about and if it would get to the point already - but then we saw some Telekinesis, and all was well! Some of it was, as I thought, unnecessarily gruesome. Bt I loved it anyway. I'm going to take it back and say I was shocked that it was just a 15. LOL. Gimme back ma money. Then I might buy something at MVC. They always have anime vids there.

Also found a cool new web comic. And I got D hooked onto Something Positive. Its brilliant. The type of humour I enjoy.

Pip is coming around on Friday. should be great. Then I'm back at school in 5 days.

2002-12-28T13:10:00.000Z

We went to Bluewater yesterday. We thought, cool, sales. Now, I think Bluewaters capacity is around 30,000 cars. I live quite close to Bluewater - its just 2 bus rides away from me, and it takes just under an hour to get there. As we approached Bluewater, certain things made themselves known.

a) We were in the wrong lane
b) The queue for bluewater was 1000m (please take into consideration that I can't estimate very well) long.
c) 90% of the car park was already full. Due to the situation of Bluewater and our entry point, we usually park at John Lewis. Due to the nature of this particular day, we ended up on the far side from our entry point, parking on the upperdeck by the House of Fraser.

Luckily, we found a parking spot, but when we came out, people were parking on the ramps, on the green grass, where coaches and trucks are meant to stop, blocking delivery points - it was hilarious!

I didn't buy any clothes - I couldn't be bothered. Instead, I bought some books from Waterstone. Yeah, I'm obsessed with that place...its the smell of books not yet read...lol.

I bought Beloved by Toni Morrison, and the Darwin Awards. I also saw Lone Wolf with Cub, but it was Volume 3. I have every intention of ordering 1 and 2, and buying 3. I just don't know when I'm next going, and if I can afford to do so with all the work I need to do. They only cost 7.50 each, which I think for a graphic novel is very good. They also have Akira, but again, starting from 2 to 4. Never mind that I don't know what it is about, I also don't want to spend 24.99 on something that may or may not be good, u know? I have to check out whether there are charges for ordering these books. Naja.

I recently bought Clover 1 from the void (before it shut down, of course) and I loved it. I love Clamp, ever since I saw X-1999. Gah! Now I'd have to go to Lakeside to get it. Lakeside is over the river, over the bridge which costs money. And to get there by bus would take 2 hours. Never mind that the last time that I was there, I never saw The Void. Grrr.....but I have their number now, mwuahahahahaha.

Sorry, just rambling away now.

2002-12-28T12:49:00.000Z

I think Omi may be staying until Sunday, and leave on Monday instead of leaving tomorrow.

My friend Abi wants me to go to some guy's place to play some games. I'm not in the mood for it, especially not with her because she can be so damn superficial. She told me she'd come over on Monday and "fix me up" and "do my hair" as well as "choosing some clothes". I wear what the hell I want when I want, so I'm not in the mood to go with her. She's a nice enough person to speak to usually, but I think she's doing this to prove some kind of a point. If she is, its lost on me.

My excuse will therefore be, my parents won't let me go to somebody's house, especially when not even I know them. Pah! Instead, I'm going with Chanelle to see the LoTR. Chanelle's great - funny, mature and not afraid to voice her opinions. I like that in a person because it makes me feel that I'm speaking to a person with an IQ higher than that of your random modern sheeps.

2002-12-28T12:42:00.000Z

I'm 16 today!!! Woohooo!!! Tralalalalala!

My mum bought me two of the books I picked out for her at Charing Cross' Waterstones. Unlike the one in bluewater, they don't have an Anime section. But I now have the Gormenghast Trilogy, and The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy (Trilogy of four).

But back to Christmas:
It was absolutely fantastic. We exchanged presents on the 24th, because we were doing it German Style. I got from my Grandma, £100. Yes, indeed, you read correctly, £100. I'm so happy! My Mum (and my dad) got me a red sleeping kit - robe, pants, shirt, socks etc., I now also own 15 or so books that my mum bought for me. I've got a puzzle, round the head headphones, a calendar with kittens in it and the Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers PS2 Game. My brother bought me Ashanti's Album. My dad got me Kingdom Hearts. This is not surprising as it was a) on my Christmas Wish List and b) my brother went shopping with my dad.

I bought my Grandma two framed pictures, and some chocolate from Thorntons. My Mum got the Jazz Album that she wanted, and My dad has now got more socks for his Golf Clubs. Jason got a £15 voucher for lakeside Karting that gives him 12 minutes on the track to race. So overall, everyone was really happy.

And I also got my domain name! Xativa.co.uk. It hasn't been purchased yet, but it will be later today. I'm not really too sure if this is my birthday gift or for Christmas. Naja, I love it anyway! I've already begun building it, but I still need to write a lot of it. I think there are approximately 50 pages. Out of those, about 10 are actually finished, as in, publishable. About 6 need a little TLC, and the rest are just concepts at the moment. Lots of work, and I still have to write a lot for homework.

2002-12-22T23:24:00.000Z

Sunday today! After cleaning my room (hehe....its been 2 months) and the two bathrooms in our house, hovering the stairs, said bathrooms, said room and the dining and kitchen, I had a quick breather. Showered, and then had to dust.

....all this between 11.30 and 4.00. And considering the state my room WAS in, this is record time! I'm quite proud of how I managed that...

We then drove down to Dover at an avg. speed of 110 mph. we were down there in an hour. Met my Omi (Grandma) from Germany at the Harbour. I was so happy to see her, I hadn't seen her for 2 years. but my mum started crying when she saw Omi. But its understandable, they hadn't seen each other for 7 years! I was really happy.

I now own more hair clips, a black leather skirt with matching leather jacket, a beige leather poncho with cap and a black skirt. LOL. I love my grandma's sense of style. its great!

Tomorrow we go up to London by train to meet one of Omi's friends. Me and my mom are going to go with her, so I really ought to go to bed now...
pfft.

My mum is going to buy my domain for me! I just need a name! I've checked out a few. At the moment, I'm thinking of going with starry.co.uk, or sterne.co.uk (stars.co.uk). Fiery.co.uk is also available.

2002-12-22T23:15:00.000Z

After cleaning up on Saturday, I went to the much planned feeding place, Frankie and Benny's! It was great. I sat next to Kelly, opposite D and on my left, Emma. Opposite her sat Pippa, so everything was cool. The food was great, and I made sure to ask for a very well done steak. Last time I had oe of these back in spain, it was alive and kicking when I got it! But it was great.

Pip wasn't really there, I could tell her minds were on other things. She was tired, not too responsive, and she was seated next to D. Who isn't her most favourite person at the moment. I'm not sure why, because I haven't had the opportunity to dig that deep. I could have asked at any moment, but the atmosphere was all wrong.

She was itching to go. I know she didn't mean to offend anyone, but unless Kelly is going to be understanding, she may not be. I told Pip she could tell me whatever she wants, I'll be there fore her. After catching up with her. I hope the Christmas spirit catches up with her soon. I know she won't tell me whats wrong. Its not because I'm not a close enough friend, but because I'm such a close friend. She won't tell me because then I'll be worried about her. I hope everything turns out fine. She's such a vibrant person when she isn't in a sarcastic/cynical mood.

2002-12-22T22:46:00.000Z

Friday was fun. After assembly I went straight to meet Ms. K (music teacher) and the flute teacher. I never caught her name, but I think it began with P. So she'll be Ms. P for the rest of this entry, k? Anyway, I really liked her. She is teaching with the ABRSM board, so I'll be switching back to it from Trinity. Never mind the fact that I've never had an exam at Trinity.

The reason I'll be switching back is because my flute teacher, Ms. Tullberg is leaving because (as stated in said letter to parents) her career has suddenly 'blossomed' in New York. I'll miss her, she was really fun and she's helped me so much! Ms. K picked up on it, saying how my tone has improved and that I can get through more than 2 bars without having to take a breath.

Anyway, this teacher has like, a really cool sense of humour, is friendly and open, and she's already given me very valid advice. How to tackle high notes has always been a problem, especially when trying to play them quietly. She's also pointed out, quite rightly, that my fingers lock up on my right hand. I believe that has something to do with much mouseclicking, typing and PS2 playing. The last two fingers just don't need to move much, and when they do, they kinda move together, which is why I need to work on making them independent.

2002-12-19T17:07:00.000Z

I didn't go to school yesterday. I had like, 3 hours of sleep. Even Pro Plus won't help me there! So after much deliberation, I got to stay home. But I went to school today. Everyone was so happy to see me!

I'm helping my music teacher interview a flute teacher by turning up for a mock lesson tomorrow. Should be fun! I've missed two lessons with my real teacher anyway, so I might as well get one, ne?

And we get to have a non-school uniform day. Wahey! One day I will show people what it is we have to wear at our school. Considering what others have to wear, it isn't actually that bad, but lets just say that it isn't exactly winter friendly. At all.

2002-12-17T22:37:00.000Z

I'm going to school tomorrow.

Hn.

Should be fun.

2002-12-17T14:37:00.000Z

One last thing. I want to plug somebody's site, because I think its so beautiful. Said owner of site doesn't know me, but I'm doing it anyway because people should see it!

Visit Blush

2002-12-17T14:35:00.000Z

I really want my own domain. I don't think I want my first name as my domain name anymore. I wanted hush.nu, but its gone.

I need to come up with some ideas for its name.....any one?

I'll be paying for it all on my own. Ok, its with my allowance which is from my parents, but in that way, I'm not asking them for more money. I was going to get it at the beginning of January, but I'm thinking of leaving it until after my GCSEs, otherwise I'll have no time to update. Another part of me is saying, get it now, get it now! You'll have plenty of time for your GCSEs, your such a perfectionist you wouldn't allow yourself to fail. And if that didn't convince you, then the expectations of your friends, of your family, of your school will drive you to do your best.....and drive you insane at the same time.

I need to find that Penguin's Thesaurus. It would be really helpful now. I'm going to stop blogging now before I go into major angst mode. I don't want to go there....My body is too tired, mentally and physically to be doing this, especially from latest bugs, the lack of sleep and the usual winter depression. Gah....no time.

2002-12-17T14:26:00.000Z

I haven't gotten all of the results for some of the others. I'm surprised that I did so well in my sciences. I'm naturally good at them, but I didn't revise for any of them in any sort of organized fashion. Except Chemistry, but even that I only looked at the book for the first year....while in front of the TV. All of my results reflect the effort I put into them, ie, not damn much. I just had a sudden case of 'I don't give a damn'-itis.

I'm an A/A* student. Always have been, and I will always continue to be one...

but just not for something as pathetic as the mocks. I dont care for them especially when we had the End of Years not much more than 3 actual school months ago. Its ridiculous. But I must say I've done pretty well so far for someone who revised in front of a TV and did so the evening before the exam. I can honestly say the only two exams I revised for are Chemistry and Business Studies. And only because I'm taking them for A Levels.....and I like them...

2002-12-17T14:18:00.000Z

Some results:
Geography
Paper 1 - 68% [B]
Biology
84%
Chemistry
86%
Physics
74%
Mathematics
Non Calculator paper: 71%
Calculator paper: 81%

2002-12-17T14:15:00.000Z

I helped my mum strip the baby room of (guess) the baby wallpaper. It was sickening, and we somehow believed my grandmother wouldn't appreciate staying in there for a week with it... It was kinda fun. I wasn't in a talking mood, which suited us both fine, and we just got on with it. quite stress relieving. we got it done in 4 hours, which is pretty good seeing as it was just the two of us, and we weren't working particularly fast.

Then on Saturday I went to bluewater on my own. No, not because I don't have any friends, but because I was Christmas shopping, and I wanted to get it done as quickly as possible. So I went there and got my Mum her Jazz CD. My Dad has some Golf Club warmery thingies. My great friend Abi is getting a 10 pound voucher for Sephora, and My brother (I didn't get his gift there) is getting a 15 pound voucher for lakeside karting, giving him 12 minutes on the track. lucky boy. He'll love me for 2 weeks for this. And then it will all be back to normal....

So my darling bu Philippa txts me and asks if I wanna go and see a film with her. So I say yes, totally ignoring my earlier idea to be home early. I left Bluewater and met her around 4ish, and we go and see that Bond Film.....and i can't remember its title at the moment. Gah. It was the second time for both of us, and we were having such a laugh....especially at the end scenes. I bet some of the adults in there must have been wondering how such 'innocent' kids could have such dirty laughs....naturally I didn't laugh...;)

My dad being the nice man he is picks me up from Pips, and I get home and I'm happy for having achieved so much. then I feel a damn cold coming on, and I knew that Saturday was too damn a good day for it to be true. Grrr...

I wake up on sunday, and attempt to sit upright, only to fall back in what I'll simply describe as a flurry of 'interesting phrases'. Unladylike, I know. But so very satisfying, ja?

I didn't go to school on monday. Not a biggie, I didn't want to face my Geo teach with a half completed piece of coursework. I'm so tired though...Then today we are meant to be on a field trip. Seeing MacBeth featuring Sean Bean (or however you spell it, I don't give a damn). I'm peeved that I'm missing it...but at the same time the real feeling of actually caring is not there. Not surprising.

2002-12-17T13:54:00.000Z

I walk into my french orals, after having about 6 hours sleep due to the Concert. I have just written my Presentation, and learnt (crammed) it into my brain. I don't expect to do well, especially with my track record. I get in there, and he's pretty nice about it. Asks me some questions, and when I can't remember anything, I just start to improvise. Apparently, I'm the only one in my friends circle who can do this without sounding like she's making it up on the spot....lol! Well, whatever advantage I get to have, I'll take!

Got 14/20 for my trouble, which is a beautiful 70%. Somebody gimme some champagne, this is a defo reason to celebrate!

2002-12-17T13:50:00.000Z

I keep on pressing the wrong button to post.....Grrr

2002-12-17T13:33:00.000Z

Gah.....wrote something to post a few days ago, and then I clicked on something and it all went *giggle* tits up....

sorry, but I find that such an amusing expression, I just found myself having to use it...

Anyway, I was going to recap on what was in that post, but then I realised that I couldn't actually remember what was in it!

*looks at previous posts*

Aha! Concert!

Tralalalala....Well, it was damn interesting. First up on the program was the Intermediate Orchestra, of which I am a member. It is primarily for Year 7 to 8...so what a Yr 11 is doing there I don't know....But I call myself a supporter, who actually regularly attends the rehearsals. Anyway, we were up. Hark the Heralds Angels Sing. Sadly, something went wrong right at the beginning, may have been the oboes or something. Definitely wasn't us (i.e, the flute section). So, we smile, look a bit embarrased, and play for the second time. It all goes swimmingly. Then we go and play O little Town of Bethlehem. It was cute. It was so damn boring. Grrr....this is why I hate Christmas Concerts...they are never as much fun to play as the Summer Concert is, as my parents agreed with me.

Then, I jump line to go join the Senior Orchestra. I had left the music for Mission Impossible in my locker, and true to form, the section of the school in which my lockers are located had been cruelly locked. Gah! So I thought I'd actually end up having to play Flute 2. Egads! I hadn't actually been playing it, though the First Flutes had told me I should. Which I didn't consider right considering the fact that a) I was the FIRST person to get a copy of Mission Impossible - 4 weeks in advance and b) It was on the basis of my performance of the piece, i.e, the fact that an "officially grade 2" player could actually perform such a difficult piece, being the only flute player in the whole 13 strong group and c) Me being the only flute player to be taking GCSE Music in that Group. I should be performing Flute 1 as part of my Performance Log. So I thought they could just go ahead and F*** themselves because I'm playing Flute 1 regardless of what they want. As did my desk partner who was shoved down to Flute 2. We ended up just nodding "Yes, we are playing flute 2, don't worry...."

Luckily, the nice girl sitting next to us had a copy of Flute 1 in her folder and gave it to us to play....How Nice???

But the middle Solo part for Flute Departments and Clarinet players was pathetic. In rehearsals it was already pretty unstable, but we had like, "echoes" everywhere....damn that was fun to play. 5 4 time, One crochet equals 165 or something, and rests in the middle of the bars....everywhere. Then with Saxophones and Bassoons deliberately playing a counter rhythm in our ears....lets just say it was wunnerful...

the Military Ma´rch went off without a glitch.

erm...the Senior Choral Choir was great. We sang this one piece...I think the title is "Thou Must" by Berlioz. Its heartbreakingly beautiful....and sung just right it'll bring tears to your eyes....We got so much applause for that!!

2002-12-04T17:36:00.000Z

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2002-12-02T19:20:00.000Z

80 hours of game play, but I haven't gotten all of the final weapons, and I haven't defeated any of the dark aeons. Am actually still collecting ze monsters...

2002-12-02T19:10:00.000Z

had the first day of exams today. It was the most shittiest thing ever. The English Language, like I had expected, was the same old same old. Section A was a bitch and Section B is where I gain back marks (Writing to argue is what I do best).

Business Studies was last years exam. Which is why I'm kicking myself because I should have known that the one exam that they'd give us would eb last years which unfairly focused heavily on Production. They may have given us a list and told us what to revise carefully, but it was horrid. I didn't even get to the last question, and most of the paper was made up of 5-8 mark questions. I know I've definitely lost 19 marks, plus all the other stuff.

The sad thing is, I'll do better in the Religious Studies exam than in the Business Studies exam, even though I didn't even look at my notes. You can just blag your way through most of it, but in BS, if you don't know something, you are f***ed for the rest of the exam. I ended up just going through the paper looking for quick questions I'd definitely get all the marks on. This ended up being Break-even, the only part in the whole paper to be made up of 1 mark questions. At least I'll get full 6 marks for the one on Profitability Ratios....I'm good at finance, organization and marketing, but me and production really do not get along. I'd also like to see where advertising came into that paper. But I'm sure my teachers will make that all crystal clear to me "($)^)!(&^$%^£"

I hope I get a good nights sleep. Geography and Maths tomorrow.

"I know there is a bullet with my name on it somewhere out there. Why can't it come and shoot me now for crying out loud?"
Me, to Unsympathetic Form/not my business studies teacher (she teaches that, but not my group).

2002-12-02T19:00:00.000Z

First of all, I've finally finished Final Fantasy 10. I'm surprised I got there considering my track record with 7 and 8, both I never finished. In a way I was disappointed, the final aeon was far too easy to beat, I didn't even have to use Rikku, Kimahri, Lulu or Wakka, the summoning and combo of doublecast ultima was great.

I just heard that FFX-2 will be out in Late 2003. There is a God after all. Not only do I get to play Kingdom Hearts, but FFX-2 as well. I'm not even going to bother getting 11 unless there is an option to play off line. In my current situation it would take me months to finish the game, as I barely have enough spare time to think.

2002-11-30T11:22:00.000Z

I#ve been downloading music files with the handy Kazaa. #Too dirty to clean my act up...
11:20? Feck...time to revise. The family is gone too. Hallelujah! The've gone to Ikea (I swear I mentioned that already). Regardless, my brother wnet with them, so I can watch a little telly without being told I'm a moose for watching NGE. Hn.

2002-11-30T11:18:00.000Z

Just checked out the price of getting a domain name. Never mind the host charges etc. It'll cost $60 for two years. Which means very little to me seeing as I am working in the pound. But I think that is about 40 pounds. Which is absolutely no problem. It isn't as if I d anything much with the 120 pounds I get per month, other than pay for my meals at school, which only costs me 50 a month.

Now it just depends on the hosting fees. If they are about $7 a month, that'll be 4.66 pounds per month for me. Per year, that would be 56 pounds per year. because I have signed up for two years, that would be 112 pounds. Plus the 40 pounds, that will be 152 pounds over 2 years. Over 2 years I get 1800 pounds. So effectively this would be a small fraction of the money I have (including the lunch money). 0.08 to 2 dp. That's about 2/25. I can live with that.

2002-11-30T10:57:00.000Z

The Real Folk Blues

Aishiteta to nageku ni wa
Amari ni mo toki wa sugi te shimatta
Mada kokoro no hokorobi o
Iyasenumama kaze ga fuiteru
It's too late to cry I love you.
The wind still blowing, my heart still aching

Hitotsu no me de asu o mite
Hitotsu no me de kinou mitsumeteru
Kimi no ai no yurikagode
Mo ichido yasurakani nemuretara

One side of my eyes see tomorrow,
And the other one see yesterday

I hope I could sleep in the cradle of your love, again

Kawaita hitomi de dareka na itekure
Cry for me, somebody, with dry eyes

*The real folk blues

Honto no kanashimi ga shiritaidake
Doro no kawa ni sukatta jinsei mo warukuwanai
Ichido kiri de owarunara
*The real folk blues
I just want to feel a real sorrow
It's not bad a life in the muddy river
If life is once

Kibou ni michita zetsuboto
Wanagashikakerareteru kono chansu
Nani ga yoku te warui no ka
Koin no omoi to kuramitaita
Hopeless hope, and the chance with traps
What is right, or wrong
It's like a both side of a coin

Dore dake ikireba iyasareru no darou
How long I must live till I release?

The real folk blues
Honto no yorokobi ga shiritai dake
Hikaru mono no subete ga ougen to wa kagiranai
The real folk blues

I just want to feel a real pleasure
All that glitters is not gold

* repeat
*repeat
Transliterated by Kourin
http://geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/1344/

Translated by mana

God I love this song. It's great! #The Real Folk Blues...*dodges sharp objects*

2002-11-30T10:46:00.000Z

I'm thinking about a .nu name. Not sure whether I should go for my name (cos that is still available) or something else. I#m just not sure about that somehting else. Avocados.nu. how about it?

Just spotte spelling mistakes. Excuse them please, rabid hysteria due to upcoming mocks (you didn't know that, of course)